everybody hurts

Talk about priorities that change! Its a bad feeling already that you have to be on someones' priority list already and not the special person, let alone be numbered. It is pretty funny that there has to be situations that hurt you apart from the ones that make you sad. I mean, imagine feeling like a complete jerk when you get hurt. Like getting hurt is not enough. In a way it teaches you that everybody have limits. You cannot have special entry to anybodys' so called personal space. Coming to think of it, what makes you special when someone says you are? I just think that they mean they like talking to you longer than the rest. And that is absolutely no reason to feel special about. You probably are a good listener. And that is all. Sometimes when dad tells me that I cannot be everything, I did not quite believe him. Now, I do. Infact, I do not think I can be anything. Yesterday was the worst day of my sick life. It pays to maintain dignity and only be that much interested in the other person as much as the other person. Errr that sounds confusing. I like that guy who said "be a mirror". But I am extremely unable to be one. But I shall keep trying. Somehow I keep accumulating the things people say. I can forgive but I just cannot forget. The more I try, the more I remember. And one day I might explode with all the things people say. Like a balloon full of words. And it is going to be a big stink. It makes me wonder though if I am probably all that people call me. I might be. I am afraid to even think. My friend and I went to this temple near my house. And I cried strangely. So this uncle who is incharge of the temple is also my neighbour, started narrating the temples' history. It was pretty interesting. This uncle and his wife do not have kids. So while narrating the story, he paused for a moment and looked at us. Then he said 'I wronged my first wife, which is probably why I do not have a kid today'. He did not seem too sad though. Maybe he was too old to regret it. But I completely forgot why I was crying. And then my friend told me that the guy she likes did not reciprocate her love. She is 27 and she has a back problem. So nobody was ready to marry her. She is very pretty though. And I heard myself telling her that things that make you sad are the things that will not let you be happy. That was total bullshit. Best part is, she vowed to help herself that day. Hmm. It sure is a nice feeling to know that there are a whole lot of other people in this world who require a jerk like me to make wise ass comments like that.