a morning

Yawn! Yawn! Another boring day. Stretch! Stretch! No Yoga. No Gym. No Tennis. No lifestyle. Just another day. A cup of coffee dat smells like cockroach puke. Vessels dat need to b washed. But a sink dat smells like a thousand cockroaches puke. Blea!Blea! A toilet dat smells like a night club dat is frequented by vampires. Golly! When do I get it all cleaned??? Oh! D maid is on a holiday. Where did she say she was going? I think she said, Bali. Oh sorry it was Billai near Chickmagalur. She wanted my jeans. She was going on her honeymoon. I gave it to her. What are maids for nyways. I can borrow her saree maybe. They look nice and colourful. I have to go back to work tomorrow. Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhh. We have a report to complete. Aaaarrrgghhhh. And all d men at work are old. Yawn! Yawn! Oh damn! I broke the geyser plug last night. Cold shower it will b then. Is dat my stomach growling? Did I have my dinner yet? Breakfast aint enuf. Half a dozen rotten eggs in d coolmac. He's my fridge. Squishy bananas in d fruit basket. I heard dat. ........... I heard dat again. Isnt dat my fone?? Did I hear it squeak?? Its a vintage fone. Under d pillow. In my bag. In d toilet. On d couch. Yep. Found it. All d oldies want to go to d temple. Would I want to join? Hell no. Who is dat again? All d oldies from work want to visit d museum for d well preserved psychos of d world. Am I joining them? I think I might have typhoid. Could be useful if I wanted to bunk work tomorrow. Hunger is blinding me. Oh no. Its d glasses am wearing. It looks spotted. I wonder why. Does it look like a commode to d goddamn flies?? Is dat a crack on d glass? Who could be wearing my glasses when am not around? Have to ask d maid. Aha! My fone. It sounds better. Am I free for lunch? Am not free nytime of d day or night. But if its free food, am not doing nything in d morning, afternoon and night. Oh u wanna go dutch! Sorry am seeing an important person for lunch today. Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. My corn flakes..... dont be empty.... cornflakes I love you more than nythin else on earth....u have always been there for me.....please flakes.......be there this time too. Yeah you r still here. Thanks. Sleep of heavens ....overcome me....make me forget d dirt of hell in my house...sleep of heavens. I guess cleaning it is today. Where do I start? I start by finding my maids sister. She would come and clean for my nice pair of still using slippers. Shower me sweet dear lord. Do I have to walk to d next street to fetch d maid? My freud is in d service center. I miss my freud. He has always served me well wit or witout fuel. Alas! He broke down from pressure to perform. I tried to make him feel gud. But he would not listen. He refused to start until he got professional help. I hope he is happy where ever he is. Eeeeeeeeeeeks. Are those my feet???? Or are they cancerous growths on a mildew?? Who cares. So the maid will come in d next 10 minutes. Oh no am in a hurry. So wat if it is a Sunday. I have so many appointments. But I dont like dirty houses! And yes I need to clean d house on a busy Sunday morning. Maids. Do they ever understand d importance of cleanliness! The goddamn fone keeps ringing. hmm its you. Gee, I would love a cup of coffee. Dats d only thing I dont get on this planet. Coffee day? Sure why not. We couldn possibly go to Tea Day for coffee can we? Or Ice cream day. Or gud dinner day. It has to b d ever brown Coffee day. Oh you want to discuss d upcoming project wit ur gud looks at dusk. I can concentrate alright. Yeah I can bring those documents. I can dress up in formals too if u wud like. And I can wear my badge too. Would u want d boss to come along? I can invite him. Why do I even bother wit morons like him! Lord, were u taking a shower when I prayed this morning? I asked u for a nice evening wit a nice guy. Oh next Sunday? Fine then. So shall I go shopping? I guess I could. And by d way, d food processor is not working. Do I leave dat at d service center or throw it out? I'll wait till next Sunday.